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"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.” Check Out Our Favorite Chuck Norris

Updated: Nov 15, 2023

One of the most memorable and meme-able martial arts stars in history is Chuck Norris! Check out our favorite Chuck Norris jokes found across the internet!

  1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

  2. When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck Norris said, “Say please.”

  3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

  4. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

  5. If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

  6. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.

  7. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.

  8. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

  9. Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.

  10. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  11. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

  12. Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

  13. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

  14. When police officers approach Chuck Norris they say, "we have the right to remain silent.”

  15. When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother home from the hospital.

  16. Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.

  17. Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as “You Know Who.”

  18. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

  19. The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong, was when he thought he had made a mistake.

  20. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

  21. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's pushing the Earth down.

  22. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

  23. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.

  24. The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

  25. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

  26. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

  27. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

  28. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

  29. Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.

That’s our list. Did we miss any of your favorites? Also, we got some classic Chuck Norris flicks more at Black Belt+

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